Bored... so.....

For the longest time I knew... but I had hope. I just... for the life of me, hoped I was wrong even though I knew it was true...
I lost it... I had to have firm proof... you understand, I was still hoping with every part of myself that somehow... it wasn't true. When I had the proof I needed, I etched "BETRAYAL" into my lower abs... to make myself remember never to trust anyone again. It's still there.

It's been about a year. I think.

I forgave. Why? I've no idea. Hope, yet again. I've been hurt so many times. Yet I always go back. And nothing seems to truly get resolved. Things don't seem to change. Forgiveness isn't all that's required. You also sort of need to talk and make sure it doesn't happen again. You have to change. I've changed a lot.